Here's My Theory

iCloud Today... Galactic Domination Tomorrow

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:52:00 -0400

With the recent release of Apple’s iCloud, it seems cloud computing is here to stay. If you’re a little behind (which is better than being a huge ass), cloud computing is simply a way of saving files to the web, instead of to your hard drive.

The idea here is redundancy. If the data is stored on one hard drive and that hard drive breaks, your data is lost. If it’s stored on 5 hard drives in the same house, and there’s a fire, your data is lost. With the cloud, your data is stored on several drives in all different locations, which allows you to access it via the web whenever you want, without running the risk of crashed drives losing your data.

This same concept is what the human species needs in order to survive. Being on Earth is like storing all of your information on a single drive. It doesn’t matter how much we archive elements of our culture, or the lexicon of knowledge we’ve accumulated over time. If a meteor, or a gamma ray were to strike the planet tomorrow, it would all be lost without a trace for a future species to discover.

The only way to avoid such a catastrophe would be to spread out to other planets, and ideally, other solar systems. Currently, there are plans in place to terraform Mars (make it Earth-like, so humans could someday move there). If humans can inhabit two planets, then the sudden destruction of one wouldn’t mean the end of human history. The more spread out our species becomes throughout the universe, the safer our species becomes.

Just another example of how humans and computers mimic and learn from each other in order to survive.

The Negative Ad Fallacy

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:48:00 -0500

You can tell a lot about a person or company just based on what they choose to showcase in their ads. The superior one is usually the one who highlights their strong points instead of pointing out the weaknesses of their competitors.

This can be seen in ads for both products and politicians. For instance, if you’ve ever seen an Optimum Online commercial, all you hear is negative things about Verizon’s FiOS service. Some smug guy is telling you about how FiOS customers keep switching back to Optimum and trying to scare you into thinking that the fact that FiOS is superior is a myth.

Their other commercial features a FiOS salesman going door-to-door while his mother reveals the “ugly truth” that her son is keeping from the unsuspecting Optimum customers.

The idea here is that is Optimum is selling an inferior product, the only way they can keep their customers is to scare them into thinking that Optimum cares about them like their moms do and FiOS is the guy in the van full of puppies trying to kidnap your children.

FiOS, on the other hand simply spits out statistics about their superior picture quality and internet speed and call it a day.

As mentioned above, the other place you see this constantly is in politics. Whenever one politician has a better platform because they are more closely aligned with the people, the inferior competitor comes along with a negative ad campaign that highlights obscure, out-of-context anecdotes from the superior politician’s life.

The lesson here is to not be fooled in scare-tactics. If you can sense that someone is trying to scare you into trusting them, they’re entirely full of shit and should immediately lose you as either a customer or voter. Consider it a decision-making shortcut.

"Religion is the lens through which we view the world"

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 23:13:16 -0500

“Religion is the lens through which we view the world”

"The line between want and need is almost as blurry as the arrow pointing you in the right direction."

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 01:10:09 -0500

“The line between want and need is almost as blurry as the arrow pointing you in the right direction.”

Homophobia & The Illusion of Choice

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 00:40:00 -0400

When you listen to homophobic people explain their point of view, you will often hear some very peculiar things. Now, when I say homophobic, I include anyone who is against gay marriage, gays in the military, and any other discriminatory points of view you can think of. Their reasons usually include a word that in no way belongs in the conversation. That word is “choice”.

I always hear things like “it’s a lifestyle choice” and “if they choose to do that, it’s not my problem.” Recently, Carl Paladino (who recently ran for Governor of NY State) even said that it’s wrong for children to be “brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option.” But, where is this word ‘option’ coming from?

As a heterosexual, I don’t remember there ever being a time where I chose to be attracted to women. After puberty I didn’t take a look at some men and some women and think “hmm.. I know most people want to sleep with women, but those men are preeeetty tempting!” For that matter, I don’t remember there ever being a time where I chose to like ice cream or chose to dislike the smell of horses either. That’s because nobody chooses what they prefer, they just enjoy the things they like, and avoid the things they don’t.

So why is it that homophobic people just don’t seem to get this? Well here’s one possible solution that helps put my mind to rest:

Let’s say you were a homosexual man (and if you really are a homosexual man you can still play along). You come to a point in your life where you know very well that most men are attracted to women, but you find yourself mysteriously drawn to men. Your church tells you that homosexuality is a sin, and you know your family would frown upon it if you were gay. So what you do, even though it’s less pleasurable, is go for the women. You get married, have a family, and you’re very proud of yourself because this was quite an accomplishment. You think that this is how most men must feel, and that’s why the bible was making such a big deal out of it. Life is a struggle!

Now you see some openly gay people and you think to yourself “that’s not fair! They took the easy way out!” To you, resisting this temptation was one of your major accomplishments in life; a sacrifice that you had to make. Why should these people who chose the easy route be entitled to the same privileges as you?

And there it is: the choice. This was not a choice to be gay, but only a choice to be honest with oneself. You often hear about people who are openly against homosexuality getting caught having a gay affair (Ted Haggard comes to mind), and then their defense is that they were “tempted by the devil and gave in to that temptation.” Well I have some news for these people: There is no such thing as a temptation to have a gay affair when you’re straight, you’re just gay! (or at LEAST bisexual!) As a heterosexual, I never look at a man and think “I know he looks yummy, but I must resist” because I am actually a straight man, and not just playing the role of one to avoid judgment. I don’t ‘resist’ men for the same exact reason I don’t look at a horse and fight my temptation to sniff it’s… well you get the picture. There’s nothing to resist!

Nobody ever chose to be gay or straight, but any attack on openly gay people is an attack on honesty. If you aren’t ashamed of your society for preventing gay people from marrying and openly serving in the military, you’ve got some serious soul-searching to do.

Update: This video goes perfectly with this post. Special thanks to Alec N. for contributing.

How Many Real Friends Do You Have on Facebook?

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 21:55:00 -0400

Take a look at your friend list on Facebook. How well do all of these people really know you? Sure, you might have seen them at a party once, went to school with them, work with them, maybe even hang out sometimes. But does that mean you’re really friends with them? Let’s test them.

Login to Facebook and change your birthday to any other day. Better yet, change it to tomorrow (if your birthday really is tomorrow, use your imagination). Now all there is to do is wait. How many people will wish you a happy birthday because Facebook told them it was your birthday?

Aside from some close friends who really know your birthday (and hopefully won’t call you out on it via your wall), most people will probably see everyone wishing you a happy birthday and hop on the birthday train.

That’s my theory… but let’s test this one. I’ve changed my Facebook birthday to tomorrow’s date. I will update with the results tomorrow.

Further speculation:

I also think this is going to cause some problems and possibly make my “friends” feel bad when they realize they did a nice deed that ultimately made them look foolish. Does that make me mean for doing this? Maybe. But what can I say? I’m a curious scientist.

UPDATE:

After letting this go on for the full fake birthday, I was surprised with some of the results. Many people wished me a happy birthday, including some family members and close friends, while other people, who I didn’t expect to know my real birthday, actually called me out on it. The best part was that when I went into work, I was greeted with “happy birthday” from several people (who I had to awkwardly tell the truth to). I would like to do this again soon, except with some interesting variations to it (maybe just removing my birthday and having a few people purposely wish me a happy birthday to see who follows their lead). I won’t be posting that one, though, until it is complete.

This new clip by Louis C.K. goes hand in hand with my post God...

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 01:45:56 -0400

This new clip by Louis C.K. goes hand in hand with my post God Has Low Self Esteem. Enjoy!

UNRATED, UNCENSORED, UNFUNNY!

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:13:00 -0400

A clear sign of a mediocre comedy movie is when it comes out on DVD and they stop advertising the comedy part and instead brag about the fact that it’s the UNRATED edition.

“Mediocre Comedy Movie: UNRATED… there might be boobs in it, who knows?”

Look at the cover above, it’s four confused guys who just drank a bunch of beer and a giant girl with cleavage. If I didn’t know any better, I would think this was either a porno or a Girls Gone Wild video.

Beware of these movies, they usually either flopped in the theater or went straight to DVD. By the way, was the girl in the “O” really necessary? Do we not get the point that naked women might be in the movie yet?

2 Years Later

Sun, 23 May 2010 21:29:28 -0400

Two years ago today, I started this website, and I’m happy to see how much it’s grown and evolved through that time. Over a half million people have visited in the last two years, and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has come back and a special thanks to all who contributed, commented, sent e-mails, and follow the site on Facebook. To start something like this doesn’t take a lot of motivation, but I wouldn’t see any point in keeping it going for all this time if I didn’t feel supported. So thanks everyone, and expect this third year to be even better than the first two.

Reckless Driving? There's an App For That Too

Tue, 11 May 2010 17:57:00 -0400

Technology is getting better and more portable every day, and unless you’ve been living in isolation, you’ve seen it all around. While these new gadgets are making life much easier for everyone, they are also creating quite a distraction from our surroundings.

When cell phones first began to grow in popularity, laws were quickly made to prohibit their use without a hands-free device. The misconception was that people were getting into accidents because they were driving with only one hand. We now know that this is not the reason for all the accidents because nothing changed once people started using hands-free devices.

What’s actually happening is focus that normally is 100% devoted to the road (minus distractions from the radio or people talking in the car) is now transfered over to the conversation. So, while these laws had all the right intentions, they were not solving the problem.

But now we have a new problem, which I feel is more dangerous than having a conversation while driving: texting a conversation while driving.

With texting, now people are literally taking their eyes off the road to have a conversation. This is considerably more dangerous than a loss of concentration on driving because things on the road can change very quickly, and if your eyes aren’t paying attention to it, you’re just asking for trouble.

Now, I am not even close to the first person to recognize this problem, but I would like to suggest a solution: the text away message.

For years, online messaging services have used the “away message” which send an automatic response to anyone who tries to contact you while you’re unavailable. I think it’s time that cell phones adopt this feature as a standard in text messaging service.

As you’re getting into your car, you would switch the phone into driving mode and you will not be alerted of messages until you arrive at your destination. During the trip, every text message you receive will automatically be responded to with a personalized message like “Hey, I’m driving right now, I’ll text you back in a little while.”

I’m sure there are some apps out there for phones that implement similar features to this. But I’m not talking about an optional add-on for people who are obviously responsible enough to search for the app. I’m talking about a standard feature, just like silent mode. On top of this, these automatic responses should not be charged to your account, but instead come free as a part of any cell phone plan.

All of these things (standard feature, no charge for texts, easy to switch to) are very important because any hurdle placed between a person and desired action lowers the chance of them actually doing it. If this was a hard-to-find/use feature, it might as well not exist.

Content Updates Coming Soon...

Tue, 11 May 2010 16:22:00 -0400

Hello, everyone, I just wanted to briefly update you on the state of the site. It’s been a busy month for me, which is why there has been a lack of updates.

First, I’ve been fixing some technical problems with the site itself and implementing some new features (such as the Facebook integration). Some of you have noticed that there is a problem with the search engine, and that is another area I’ve been working on. I’ve also been busy working on some psychological research, so most of my time has been devoted to that.

April was a big month for Here’s My Theory, as the site received over 120,000 visits (highest amount in a month to date). I’m looking forward to keeping this site moving in the right direction, but at the same time, I never want to post anything just for the sake of updating. Thanks for sticking around, and expect some content updates real soon.

"Preachers and Politicians: Experts in speaking the most and saying the least."

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 02:28:50 -0400

“Preachers and Politicians: Experts in speaking the most and saying the least.”

I normally don’t post things from other places on this...

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:07:00 -0400

I normally don’t post things from other places on this site, but I feel very passionately about this topic, and Michael Specter articulated it more beautifully than I could try.

Here's My Law: Miscommunication in Arguments

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 02:42:00 -0400

“That’s not what I meant!” - The classic exclamation that manages to make an appearance in most any argument. It isn’t any wonder why, though, because one of the most common causes of arguments is miscommunication.

When someone says this, they usually mean “it doesn’t matter if it upset you, you just misunderstood what I said/did.” The problem here is that miscommunication is not an excuse for hurting someone’s feelings, although it might very well be the reason. By using it as an excuse, you can quickly turn a small argument into a huge blowout.

Here’s My Law:

It doesn’t matter what you meant by something. It only matters how it is interpreted by other people.

In other words, it only matters what the other person thinks you meant. If you do or say anything that ends up hurting someone’s feelings and they confront you about it, it really doesn’t matter whether you meant it in the way they interpreted it or not. What matters is that they interpreted it in that way and it hurt their feelings.

The wrong move from here is to blame the other person for misunderstanding and treating yourself as a completely innocent person when, in fact, you were the one who did or said the wrong thing. When it comes down to it, you are the only person who knows your intentions, and so the rest of the world can only go by interpretation of your words, tone, and actions.

The right thing to do is apologize and say something along the lines of “I’m sorry if what I said upset you, but I didn’t mean it that way. What I meant was ::insert intention:: but I am sorry and I can see why it made you feel the way it did. I’ll try to remember this to avoid this in the future.”

It may be hard to let go of your ego enough to say something like this, but the only things you get from being stubborn are longer fights and less friends.

"Life is a slow treadmill. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward."

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 13:43:35 -0400

“Life is a slow treadmill. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.”

Why We Don't Mind The Smell of Our Own Gas

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:20:00 -0400

It’s no secret that one fart can clear a room of people in seconds. But have you ever noticed that when you’re the one who “dealt it”, it’s really not so bad? In fact, we actually kind of enjoy it. We don’t seem to mind the smells of our own bodily functions, but we can’t stand it if it comes from anybody else in the world.

So why is this?

Well, it’s also no secret that the sense of smell is the sense which is most related to our memory. The reason for this is the primary olfactory cortex is connected (I’ll spare you some details here) to the limbic system which is responsible for both memory and emotions. This is why when you smell a a fragrance that your ex used to wear, it not only brings back memories of that person, but resurrects some old feelings as well.

Now, back to farts. When you pass some gas, or even have a bowel movement, the emotion that is usually most prominent is relief. You felt uncomfortable, you released something out of your body, and now you feel better. Over the course of your life, your brain has now associated these smells with feelings of relief. The reasonable part of your brain understands that this is a bad smell, objectively. But the emotional part of your brain subjectively enjoys the smell because every time you’ve experienced it, you’ve felt pretty damned good.

So don’t feel crazy the next time this apparent phenomenon happens to you. Enjoy your own odors. Just don’t expect the rest of the room to share in your enjoyment.

Happy New Year!

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:56:07 -0400

The first day of spring is here, so everyone have a Happy New Year!

"I bet charades is a much less exciting game for the deaf."

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 23:55:41 -0400

“I bet charades is a much less exciting game for the deaf.”

There's No Such Thing As Sex Addiction

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:02:00 -0500

I remember a time when you would hear the name Tiger Woods and think about golf. Well those days are over because every time he’s in the headlines now, it’s because he’s apologizing for his several affairs. As of right now, the latest news is that Tiger Woods is a sex addict and is going to sex therapy.

Moving further into the past, there was a time when what we currently refer to as “sex addiction” was better known as “survival of the fittest.” Remember that? As far as evolution is concerned, Tiger Woods is a role model. The idea being that the more women a man has sex with, the greater the probability that his genes will be passed on and therefore survive at least one more generation (evolution sounds so sexist, right?).

Evolution aside, I personally don’t think adultery is respectable, but adultery is really Tiger’s only actual problem. If he wanted to live the life of a bachelor and sleep with several women, he shouldn’t have gotten married, or at least not have remained married. But that’s enough talk about Tiger’s domestic issues.

What it comes down to is simple:

There is no such thing as sex addiction.

Even though the DSM-IV (the most recent medical diagnostic manual) does not acknowledge it’s existence as a real disorder, no one even seems to question it. That doesn’t mean I believe the DSM is a gospel, it just happens to agree with me on this issue. What happens every time someone is involved in a sex scandal is they eventually come to the media and admit (if you even want to use that word) to the world that they have a problem. They, unlike every other man in the world, like sex too much. They have this terrible stuff in them called testosterone and this dreadful ability to attract women and they need help. Now, the world stops looking at them as a bad person, and begins to pity them, as they now have a problem which they can’t control; they are now the victim.

The whole thing is so obvious, but the majority of people fall right into the pity trap every time. I would love to see Tiger Woods get on a podium and say “I’m sorry I cheated on my wife, but when she now leaves me, I will continue to get laid on a regular basis by women who you can only dream about. Because I am a superstar athlete… and you are not. Thank you.”

Also, an addiction isn’t a disorder unless it prevents you from living a functional life. Have you ever seen Tiger Woods play golf? I think he’s functioning just fine.

"‘Everything happens for a reason’ might just be the most overused and least accurate..."

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:12:00 -0500

“‘Everything happens for a reason’ might just be the most overused and least accurate expression floating around. Every effect does have a cause, but a ‘reason’ implies intention and purpose. Expect an update on this in the very near future.”